Archives for August 2020

You know how with toddlers, what seems like the tiniest thing can set off a tantrum of epic proportions? Like, you give them the yellow sippy cup instead of the orange one and they lose their shit and are inconsolable for 15 minutes? Well, I didn’t have any tantrums but I totally felt like that toddler today—super big feels super close to the surface and every little thing felt HUGE and like I’d burst into tears at any second.

Days like this used to send me into a spiral that lasted for weeks. I’d be mad at everyone. I picked fights. I overreacted to everything. I lived inside shame and guilt, which made it all infinitely worse. Any joy that could have been had in the day, I squashed it. It was awful.

I’ve learned that instead of trying to buck up and power through—which inevitably leads to a meltdown for me—I can just…let myself have a rough day. I acknowledged the feels and didn’t make myself wrong for them. I asked for help when I needed it. I enjoyed the things I could and set aside the things I couldn’t. I reminded myself that I’m still in the process of bouncing back from the flu, I’m still sore AF from my biking adventure, and I’ve been “ON” all week so my reserves are depleted. Of course I’m feeling rough. I don’t need to punish myself. I need to love on myself. So I am. And it helps, a lot.

Not every day has to be a red-letter, A+, #bestdayever, #goodvibesonly kind of day. Some days you can just do what you need to get through; it’s still a win. It’s actually a really big win, because it means you listened to your body and your inner wisdom and honored them. No matter what kind of day you had today, you get to love yourself and be proud of yourself for it. And if that feels impossible, we should talk.

I get people unstuck so they can live their life authentically, powerfully, and unapologetically. Even on the rough days. 

 I’m on a mission to support 100 people in 100 days through powerful professional conversations focused on clarity and transformation. Book a free clarity call for yourself here: http://tinyurl.com/altitudeadjustmentintro (or share the link with a friend)

No bullshit. No toxic positivity. Just whatever you need right now.

Last week someone contacted me because they wanted to share one of my Facebook posts—but first they wanted me to edit it because my “colorful” language didn’t fit their brand. They politely offered multiple alternatives I could use in place of “bullshit” to make my post shareable. I declined.

 I spent far too many years editing myself to be more acceptable to other people. No more. Hard pass.

 “Bullshit” ain’t nothing. I say fuck a lot too. (And I don’t plan on stopping any time soon.) Soooo maybe don’t scroll down.

 My words are who I am. If my words aren’t for you, neither am I. I’m fully okay with that. And I’m not going to make you feel better about it because that’s your work, not mine

It was honestly a pleasant exchange. I’m not mad, nor am I offended. I’m just very, very clear that editing myself to suit others’ preferences is not a thing I’m willing to do anymore. (Also, I would like to be acknowledged for not responding, “Fuck no,” even though I still contend that would have been hilarious.)

I get to ask for the things I want, and others get to accept or decline my request without having to explain themselves to me. And, when others ask me for things, I get to say yes or no and I don’t have to explain myself.

This applies to you too. You get to ask for things. You get to say yes or no without explanation or justification. You get to be who you are independent of other people’s opinions about you. Period.

If that feels impossible, unrealistic, selfish, or otherwise icky or out of reach, we should talk. I get people unstuck so they can live their life authentically, powerfully, and unapologetically. I’m on a mission to support 100 people in 100 days through powerful professional conversations focused on clarity and transformation. Book a free clarity call for yourself here: http://tinyurl.com/altitudeadjustmentintro (or share the link with a friend)

No bullshit. No toxic positivity. (Because fuck that.) Just real talk about who YOU really are.

I’ve been embracing this thing lately where I do at least one thing every day that makes me feel more alive and it’s 

. Today I did three:

 Played Monopoly with the family

Walked 3.6 miles in the gorgeous weather on a work call that I would have otherwise spent at my desk

 Read a few extra chapters of Untamed with zero guilt (pic from our camping trip)

A few years ago I couldn’t come up with a single thing that made me feel more alive. Not one. I had to force myself through the joyless motions of basic self-care and it felt like punishment. A shameful, secret punishment I couldn’t tell anyone about because who can’t come up with something they want to do? Me. I couldn’t. All I could think of was an endless list of things I had to do. It sucked. A lot. And I remember vividly how much it sucked, which makes it all the more remarkable to think that now I can actually do things for myself and enjoy it.

If you want less “have to” and more “get to” in your life, we should talk. I get people unstuck so they can live their life authentically, powerfully, and unapologetically. I’m on a mission to support 100 people in 100 days through powerful professional conversations focused on clarity and transformation. Book a free clarity call for yourself here: http://tinyurl.com/altitudeadjustmentintro (or share the link with a friend)

No bullshit. No toxic positivity. Just being alive.

That time I caught Luna mid-bark when she thought Jesse was about to throw her something and she wasn’t sure whether to bark or catch. 

 I swear she’s not actually Kujo, but you wouldn’t know it from this picture.

Consider this your personal reminder that just because someone looks like a total asshole in the moment doesn’t mean they’re actually a monster.
Not.
Even.
You.
So maybe don’t be so hard on yourself. Even if you’ve been hard on yourself before, you don’t have to keep basing your self-concept based on your worst (or worst-appearing) moments. They’re not really who you are.

I’m on a mission to support 100 people in the next 100 days through powerful professional conversations focused on clarity and transformation. Book a free clarity call for yourself here: http://tinyurl.com/altitudeadjustmentintro (or share the link with a friend)

No bullshit. No toxic positivity. Just what’s true about you.

Today we skipped paddle boarding and went biking instead. After what seemed like a million torturous minutes of bringing up the rear behind the kids I finally got a chance to split off and actually ride—and promptly ate shit. I didn’t just, like, fall over (which does happen with some regularity). I lost control and went flying off the trail.

As the ground rose up to meet me, I coached myself through the crash. “Tuck but not too hard; protect your face but don’t bust your neck. Don’t tense up—it’ll hurt worse if you do. Know where the bike is.” It was the longest split-second of my life. My head hit first and hardest with an alarmingly loud thud that I’m sure only I heard. I skidded to a stop almost immediately after.

I laid there stunned on the ground trying to figure out why it didn’t hurt more. That’s when I realized I managed to land in soft dirt, possibly the softest dirt in the entire park. I slowly sat up, shaking, and took stock: no breaks, no punctures, and my bike was fine. I lost some skin (and a few years off my life) but otherwise it was remarkably unremarkable. I hauled myself up and rode to the end of the trail to wait for Jesse (and try not to puke).

The thing I was most scared of—crashing—happened and I’m not even sorry. Yeah, I’m sore AF, but more than anything I’m proud of myself. I tried something hard. It went sideways and so did I. I didn’t panic. I didn’t freak out. I didn’t fight it. I handled it. I did not in fact puke. And I got back on the fucking bike.

Sometimes we can see the crash coming and we can’t stop it. All we can do is lean into it with everything we know and all our instincts and hope for the best. If you’re navigating a crash, let’s talk so we can find your soft dirt to land in.

I’m on a mission to support 100 people in the next 100 days through powerful professional conversations focused on clarity and transformation. Book a free clarity call for yourself here: http://tinyurl.com/altitudeadjustmentintro (or share the link with a friend)

No bullshit. No toxic positivity. Just coming out the other side together.

Whatever you did today, let it be enough.
Whoever you were today, let it be enough.
Because you? My beautiful, amazing, strong, resilient friend?You’re enough.