Get Inspired

Pull up a chair, friends. Let’s talk about the time I almost got divorced over towels.

A dozen or so years ago, I was more on the “monster control freak” end of the anxiety spectrum instead of the milder “control enthusiast” end I mostly inhabit these days.

Jesse and I had been married less than 5 years. We were living in a house we loved, I had a business I loved, he was building a career he loved, we had three dogs and two or three cats we loved—everything was great. Except for the part where I was a complete fucking nightmare to be around because everything had to be done my way all the time, no exceptions, no matter what, or you were going to regret it. Yeah, I was a real treat. Just ask my husband, who somehow managed to stay married to me despite my best efforts to the contrary.

After approximately the millionth time I completely eviscerated him for “folding the towels wrong,” Jesse threw his hands up, told me (with remarkable self control, considering the circumstances) to go fuck myself, and didn’t fold another towel for, no joke, 10+ years. I’m guessing he wishes he had done that sooner, because him blowing up at me that made me realize I was so worried about being RIGHT that I completely forgot about being happy, being kind, being helpful, being generous—being anything that would make anyone want to be around me or that would make me want to be around myself.

That was what cued me into the fact that my anxiety was 100% running the show, and it was gonna run me into the ground if I didn’t get it under control. And, thankfully, I did. I still live with anxiety every day, but I’ve got it to where it’s one thing about me instead of THE ONLY THING. Like, case in point, I’m not even twitching despite the fact that not all of the towels in this meme about folding towels the right way are folded correctly. Trust me when I say that’s a big deal, and no, I’m not exaggerating.

I don’t know what your thing is—maybe it’s towels, maybe it’s the dishwasher, maybe it’s stuff that’s crooked, maybe it’s certain sounds, maybe it’s a million little things that if they’re not exactly right it feels like death by a thousand papercuts every day—but I do know that if it’s getting in the way of you being happy we should chat.

I help people get unstuck so they can live their life authentically, powerfully, and unapologetically. Right now, I’m on a mission to support 100 people in the next 100 days through powerful professional conversations focused on clarity and transformation. Book a free clarity call for yourself here: http://tinyurl.com/altitudeadjustmentintro (or share the link with a friend)

No bullshit. No toxic positivity. Just peace.

One of my clients shared this week how angry she gets when she and her husband have a specific argument and he doesn’t respond the way she thinks he should. Like, hi, what a jerk. Today it hit her that he IS responding and he’s responding EXACTLY the way he SHOULD respond. She was the one who wasn’t bringing anything helpful to the table. That was pretty mind-blowing for her seeing as how they’ve been married for 10+ years and this is a persistent argument. “It’s about time I figured this out,” she said.

I’m here to tell you that there is *no wrong time* for a revelation. I’ve had stuff I was SO SURE ABOUT that took me 1, 3, 4, even 15+ years to figure out, not even kidding. (The short version: Turns out I was the asshole. Whoops.) It’s not “late” just because it took a while. It takes how long it takes, and once it happens you’ll have it forever. You never know what’s going to shift your perspective in exactly the right way to show you something you didn’t even know you were missing.

If life feels like Groundhog Day, maybe it’s time for a new set of eyes. I’m on a mission to support 100 people in the next 100 days through powerful professional conversations focused on clarity and transformation. Book a free clarity call for yourself here: http://tinyurl.com/altitudeadjustmentintro (or share the link with a friend)

No bullshit. No toxic positivity. Just a fresh view.

The first time someone told me I could choose my thoughts it blew my mind. And then I decided that didn’t apply to me thankyouverymuch because if it were true, well, shit would change and I could not handle that. A couple of years later it still blows my mind, but now it’s because I know how well it works and how powerful it is to notice what I’m feeling, trace it back, and make a choice.

Today I shared this tool with a client and we took a new venture from “scary” to “exciting” by choosing a different thought. In under an hour we went from worry, doubt, and fear to “I’m actually doing a really good job and I need to give myself more credit.”

What if you got to decide every day how your day was going to go? What if you got to choose every day who and how you were going to be? If that sounds like something you’d be up for, we should talk. I’m on a mission to support 100 people in the next 100 days through powerful professional conversations focused on clarity and transformation. Book a free clarity call for yourself here: http://tinyurl.com/altitudeadjustmentintro (or share the link with a friend)

No bullshit. No toxic positivity. Just you getting to decide.

Today I decided to be amused instead of annoyed. Because when you discover your kids thoroughly taped both your toilets shut and you have to pee and you have a call in 5 minutes, what else are you gonna do?

No matter what’s going on in the world, it doesn’t have to be serious all the time. How can what you’re up to be more FUN? How can you find joy even when the unexpected comes up? If you’re not sure, we should talk. I get people unstuck so they can live their life authentically, powerfully, and unapologetically. AND WITH MORE FUN AND JOY. I’m on a mission to support 100 people in the next 100 days through powerful professional conversations focused on clarity and transformation. Book a free clarity call for yourself here: http://tinyurl.com/altitudeadjustmentintro (or share the link with a friend) No bullshit. No toxic positivity. Just a really freaking fun time. Honest. I’m a blast, and I promise I won’t tape your toilet shut.

We don’t know what happened to Luna before she ended up at the animal shelter where we adopted her at 8 months old, but it was obviously not good. She was scared of literally everyone and everything except me. She’s gradually warmed up to both kids and stopped trying to protect us from Jesse, but it’s been a long journey the last 18 months.

Tonight she fell asleep on Jesse and stayed there for an entire movie and then some. And I don’t mean just, like, her head on his leg. She was 100% on him, cradled in his arms, totally konked out. Even after the kids got up to get ready for bed, she laid on him until he got up for “tuck-ins.” She’s never done this before. She has only recently laid on the other end of the couch while he was sitting there. This was huge.

What kind of bravery does it take to be utterly terrified of the world and allow yourself to learn to trust? What kind of bravery does it take to allow total vulnerability no matter what’s happened before? What kind of bravery does it take to risk love when you’ve been so badly hurt and betrayed before?

My dog is a fucking badass. So are you. I don’t know how you’ve been burned or scarred or hurt or disappointed, but I know you’re tough and you’re brave and you are loving and you are infinitely capable of doing that thing that scares the everloving shit out of you.

It’s okay if you don’t feel like a badass. I got you. If you need a shot of courage, let’s talk. I get people unstuck so they can live their life authentically, powerfully, and unapologetically. I’m on a mission to support 100 people in the next 100 days through powerful professional conversations focused on clarity and transformation. Book a free clarity call for yourself here: http://tinyurl.com/altitudeadjustmentintro (or share the link with a friend)

No bullshit. No toxic positivity. Just being brave together—you, me, and Luna.

The last week has been a masterclass in commitment versus attachment. I’ve been feeling vaguely but worseningly crummy for days and finally went to the doctor. My covid test was negative, but it turns out I have the flu. The actual flu. Despite not touching anything without immediately washing or sanitizing or being within 6 feet of anyone I don’t live with for more than a few seconds, and always with a mask, for 4 months, I have the flu. If this isn’t proof that I can’t actually control anything, I don’t know what is. 

But there actually is a lot I can control if I focus on what I’m doing—commitment—and not stress about the specific outcome—attachment. I can’t control what happens but I can control what I do. That brings a lot of peace.

I can’t control how freaking exhausted I am from being sick, but I can control how I use the energy I do have. Today I gave myself permission to reschedule two appointments because I didn’t feel well enough to be present for them. I’m committed that my clients get amazing results from our conversations, so I don’t have to be attached to the exact time those conversations happen. I went back to sleep for 4 more hours because I needed it. No guilt.

I’m committed to being consistent with mask use, distancing, isolation, and hygiene, so even though I got sick I’m not attached to that. I’m relieved that being careful constantly meant I don’t have to worry about having gotten anyone else sick with the flu. No guilt.

I’m committed to washing these damn masks and not attached to how it happens so I threw them in the bath with me so I can multitask. (I’m agitating them with my feet as I write this post from the tub.) No guilt—and the bonus of an entertaining photo that will crack me up a year from now.

Sometimes I get so caught up in the details—the WAY something gets done—that I forget that THAT it gets done is what really matters. This is why I don’t feel bad if sometimes we have cereal for dinner or the house doesn’t get vacuumed for a few extra days. We’re fed. We’re in a reasonably clean living environment. We’re HAPPY. The details don’t matter that much.

So here’s your permission slip to freaking RELAX already. I hereby permit and encourage you to be committed to the big picture and let go of attachment to the details. If your commitment is solid, it all works out. Pinkie swear.

It’s not always easy to make that shift. If you’re feeling stuck with it, let’s talk. I get people unstuck so they can live their life authentically, powerfully, and unapologetically. I’m on a mission to support 100 people in the next 100 days through powerful professional conversations focused on clarity and transformation. Book a free clarity call for yourself here: http://tinyurl.com/altitudeadjustmentintro (or share the link with a friend)

No bullshit. No toxic positivity. Just total commitment.